aegrus_letalis | Prompt: Forgiveness (Reply)

One could not live as long as an Elder and not have her secrets. One could not do what was best for the covens, without doing some sort of harm to someone along the way and sacrificing your own pleasures. Most will never know what I have given up. Most will never know what I have forgiven. Forgiveness between Marcus, Viktor and myself is something that had to transcend everything that we may have done, and the rules each of us have broken. Otherwise, some of the decisions that each of us had made when the others were asleep, would have broken us apart and destroyed the unity of the covens. Unacceptable. Every one of us had our secrets, even from one another. It was more difficult, however, to keep secret's from one another. How could one possibly hide away the memories that are given with our blood when we wake each other? Very difficult, but not impossible as Viktor proved rather effectively. Although I should not judge him, I am not innocent of this myself.

Forgiveness.

Viktor forgave Marcus when he went searching for William's tomb that first time. I forgave Viktor for exiling Matayas; Marcus forgave me for siding with Viktor in deciding William’s fate. Believe me when I say that was the least of our transgressions against each other. Truly, in my heart, I do not believe that Marcus ever forgave Viktor and me for what we had to do to his brother. Ah, as if that was the worst of it. For now let us not mention the lies and backroom deals made to undo the wrongs the other had done. Our relationship was as dangerous game, a battle of strategy not unlike chess. One would try to outmaneuver the other, gain something when they caused you to lose something else, one Elder would plot revenge and the other spent the next century trying to undo the damage or nurse the loss. In the end, there was only one truth, for better or worse, we only had one another. Who else would understand what it meant to be an Elder, the trouble we faced, the wars we fought, the decisions we had to make for everyone, and our own sacrifices? No one could understand us but us. We were like brother's and sister, husband's and wife, a queen and her two king's. Yet, because of the wounds we inflicted on each other, we knew that there was no way that we could rule amicably together for all eternity. No, that would have led to destruction and I would like to think that not one of us was that selfish to want such a thing for our kind, at least not until Marcus saw his opportune moment of revenge. Unforgivable.

Despite what you might think, we loved our children, even when they hurt us or us them. Therefore, although we leapfrogged through time in order ensure the coverns security, least something happened to the Elder who was ruling over the Two Great Covens, we also did it to ensure that we would not kill one another. One has to think practically about these things when you realise that your life is like an hourglass that will never run out of sand. Two hundred years of rest was needed for the tired mind and it was plenty time to numb the pain from what the other had done to you. That is, when it was something that one could stand to forgive.

Bonded we were in blood, love, hate and camaraderie. Ruling a hundred years and then sleeping another hundred before seeing the both of them in turn was unbearably lonely at times. One could almost feel jealous of their children who got the chance to remain awake for the centuries and who had spent more time with Viktor and Marcus then I did. Upon awakening, we barely had a month together to tie up…loose ends, before the other was laid to rest for two centuries. After the first real war, never were we together again at the same time. And now, I will never see them again. Never will I write a question in a journal that I used to keep for Marcus, only to open it two centuries later and see that he had replied. Those little things that made the century go by a little easier, or at least for the time spent reading the others letter’s, which put a smile upon my face. Never will Viktor wake me with a quip whispered in my ear, as he rested his hand on my forehead: En Veled szeretnem leelni az eletem hatralevo reszet. No, it was not all bitter, as some of you would want to think. We kept each other going so-to-speak, so that in turn we may keep the covens going. More than a thousand years, gone. Finally, it seems that the sand in their hourglass had run out, replaced only by my tears which, would measure the time since their passing. The past lay's itself to rest; the centuries move on regardless of whether you do. Forgiveness is the only thing that allow's one to keep moving forward. Will I move forward or be stuck in the past?

Forgiveness. Tell me how and I will do my best, as I have done for centuries.

-Amelia

Having finished writing in the leatherbound journal, she softly closes the book and puts down the fountain pen. She walks across the brocade draped room and opens the door to a great library. Within it lie the remnants of books and documents that were saved in the wake of Marcus' destruction. She crosses over to the other side where the bookshelves were still lined with books that were intact. There were two great coverns, which were seperated by a vast ocean. This was the mansion of that one convern; the covern which Amelia had spent a part of her time ruling while Viktor left Kraven as a Regent over Orghodaz. Slipping the journal inbetween centuries of Viktor's letters to her and Marcus' journals, she quickly looked around the ghost of what was left from the House of Orghodaz and walked out of her library. She swiftly locked it behind her, as if trying to trap the memories that did not burn with the books that did.